Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Day 47 ~ South Coast Rock Tour

South Coat Rock Tour
~ Day 47 ~

Jacksonville…OCC…Ann and Jo…Downtown…JoJo.

This was my third time going to Jacksonville. Just can’t get enough of this stellar, surf town. I had sent a text to Ann last night telling her I was coming back to Ocean City Church this morning and hoped we would merge paths. We planned to meet for lunch after devouring the spiritual meal of the message at church. It was a filling five-course spread. The worship team played some of the same songs from that I was getting more familiar with being that I had been to OCC the last three Sundays. How I love this church and the people therein. There were also some songs sung that I had not heard before. One was a hymn that had powerful nuggets of truth interlaced throughout the verses and chorus. “All the fitness He requires is to feel your need of Him”… Wow, this is the fitness club I want to have a full-time membership to. Another song talked about the “Overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God” which just scratches the surface of His passionate pursuit of our hearts that were created to be in a relationship with Jesus. Sometimes, I’m tempted to change my Facebook relationship status from “single” to “In a relationship”, for I truly don’t feel single in this journey… I am in a deeply fulfilling relationship with the Creator and Lover of my soul. Whether you are single, dating, or married, we all can have this most beautiful relationship with God. Come join the fitness club of admitting we all need the overwhelming love of the Savior.


Pastor Derek gave a great message and pulled truths out of Corinthians and Ephesians. He talked about evangelism being an invitation… one that reverberates into eternity. My heart leaped as he said, “When our passion rises above our fear, we will be able to take risks. For when we are free in Jesus, we are fearless.” Good stuff. Great encouragement coupled with a challenging charge. I like messages that spur one on to grow deeper and go higher, rather than spurring on the settlement of complacency. Ocean City Church was a gift along this southern journey. God provides places of fellowship along the way while away from my home church that I miss greatly. So excited to once again sit next to my parents and grandparents under the umbrella of the E-Free church when I, Lord willing, return home.

Ann and I met in the lobby after the last song. She loves her role of greeting people, extending love and authenticity, and connecting them with others. We planned to have lunch at Delicomb and her twin sister, Jo, was going to join us. Her other sister, Beth (Derek’s wife), was also invited but she had existing plans. I was able to spend some time with Beth before the service and I feel a closeness to her even though we barely know one another. She pours so much onto others and the Holy Spirit keeps her full to overflow on those around her. Beth has eyes that sparkle like stars reflecting off the water on a bright blue night. God is writing a beautiful story through her and her family.


The twins and I merged paths at the popular deli. Wraps and paninis were ordered and we found a table among the bustling building. When the three of us started talking, the people in the room disappeared… it felt like it was just us together. I had Ann on my left and Jo on my left. They are twins, yet they are separate. They have similar looks, but different personalities. Their stories have combined chapters, yet the titles of their stories would be not be the same. So fitting for Jo to receive a “Story” rock.  It was cool to get to know Jo on a deeper level. Like Ann, Jo has a solid foundational love for Jesus. She is a daughter, a twin, a wife, a mother, an aunt, a friend, and a teacher. Jo and Ann have a bond that started in their mother’s womb and has remained tethered as the years pass. They complement each other cohesively. It was an honor to be in the middle of these two tender-hearted twins.

Hugs were exchanged and half of my panini was bagged up to eat later. The two hours conversing with Ann and Jo could have extended into the evening if we both didn’t have places to be. Not knowing exactly where God wanted me to be, I walked back to Tumbler and sat in my buddy’s seat for a while. “God, can I please stay in Jax for a couple days. I love it here. Could I stay at Ann’s tonight and spend more time with my new friend? “ --- Silence --- “Not in the talking mood, huh? Okay then, we’ll take it an hour at a time. How about going downtown?” --- Silence, but in a peace-full thumbs up type of silence. I thought of the verse “All the fitness He requires it to feel your need of Him.” Oh, how I need Him. God would allow me to exercise this fitness the rest of the afternoon and evening.

Downtown Jacksonville is very different than beachside Jax. The sandy shores are traded for cement and asphalt. The small buildings with soft corners are traded for high rise buildings with sharp angles. The laid-back surfers and shop owners are traded for briefcase-carrying men and high heeled women. It’s still got a Florida feel to it, but not as cozy. Tumbler meandered through the streets and we spotted many homeless handouts. I wanted to stop at each of them, but kept driving. Sensing that we wouldn’t be here long, I started praying for specifics as to where to park and for the path that would lead me to whom God wanted me to come along side. Both were answered in the first hour. It was 3:45pm when I parked off a side street and 4:10pm when God introduced me to JoJo.

While walking, three street guys were seen. I asked them if there was a rescue mission nearby and they said I could walk with them, as they were going there now. Their names were Matt, Doc, and Ryan. We didn’t talk much while walking except to say where we were traveling from, how long we had been in town, and that the downtown area was rough. They were right about that. It was a darker atmosphere and most people had a “doing what I gotta do to get by” type of attitude. Bags and backpacks were kept close, as stealing was prevalent. Women were far outnumbered by men (about a 1:25 ratio) and it was not dangerous, yet it was far from a safe environment. Matt, Doc and Ryan kept to themselves and seemed to be solely focused on getting food at the mission. I felt neither in harms company nor protected walking with them. I wasn’t including in their quiet, small tribe, nor was I excluded. When the mission was reached, they got in line with the other 75-100 people waiting to be let inside. Dinner started at 4:30 and we had a 20min of waiting in outside in the humid air. I parted ways with the guys and sat down by a thin tree that gave no shade from the hot sun. A small girl with a bright pink hat carrying a bag rounded the corner. She stopped and stood in the distance from the line of people, comprised most of men. Our eyes connected. I smiled and she looked away. I knew she was the one that God wanted me to befriend. A few guys came over to talk to me and we exchanged names, time spent in Jacksonville, and how hot it was today. Everyone’s face was dripping with sweat and the backs of our shirts were soaked from our backpacks trapping the heat against our skin. At 4:30, the line started to move slowly. The girl with the pink hat joined the line with a straight face. I let a few of the guys go ahead of me so that she was next to me. “I like your hat. I usually wear one too, but it’s so hot today.” --- “Yeah, I should take it off, but I just like how a hat feels on my head. It’s protective.” --- “This is my first time rolling through downtown Jacksonville. How is it here? --- “I keep to myself. I don’t trust men. I’m trying to get back northwest. My name is JoJo.” She started to warm up as we waited in line together. JoJo shared how she didn’t feel a sense of belonging, how she had come to the states when she was a teenager and found herself roaming the country by herself. She elaborated on her lack of trust with men enough for me to know some of the reasons for her distrust while not going into detail of the experiences that had formed her stereotype. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this. I don’t even know you. Typically, I don’t talk to anyone, but you just seem like someone who actually cares.” I nodded and took the risk of reaching out my hand to rest it on her tiny shoulder blade. She flinched at the touch, but then exhaled the breath and her mouth formed a small smile. “I’m not going to hurt you, JoJo. God knew that we would meet each other today. I just want to be your friend.” --- “I’m not used to people being nice. I always keep to myself. Would you want to sit together when we eat?” I nodded and put my arm fully around her shoulders. JoJo didn’t flinch.

The mission lets in people to eat in the room full of tables with around 50 chairs. When 10 chairs open up, 10 more people are let in. JoJo and I finally were let in and we had to put our backpacks down by the front door. We signed in the log sheet and got our plates of rice, turkey, beans, and a slice of bread. JoJo and I kept looking back at our bags that we put up on a wooden box to be in constant sight. In an area full of people who are prone for “five finger discount deals” of people’s belongings, we watched our bags throughout the whole time inside. Even when I put my backpack down on the streets or the beach, I keep one of the shoulder straps under my foot or in contact with my arm, so that if someone were to try and take it, I would feel the strap slip out from under me. Here at the mission, there was no physical contact with our bags, only our eyes that kept a keen sight on our precious cargo. For JoJo, this bag contained all of her belongings. We tried to talk while eating our food that was far from a 5-star restaurant. When one is hungry, food is food. The people around us were loud and many walked by us with hungry eyes for the two women who stood out in a sea of men. JoJo was visibly uncomfortable. I tried to keep her distracted by asking questions and making jokes. Another girl came over to our table and sat down with us. Her name was Jess. She wore sunglasses and didn’t talk much at first. JoJo and I were talking about my rocks and she said that she wished she was artistic. “You were created by the first Artist, who created you, so you have art within you. Maybe it’s not drawing or sculpting, but you are an artist.” JoJo talked about how she loved secretary work and that she loved organizing forms and data onto spreadsheets or on the computer. “I guess that’s kind of art. Art with word and numbers.” --- “Totally girl! Everyone is an artist. The material and canvases just look different with everyone.” The girl with the sunglasses spoke. “I like how you worded that. I used to do photography. Since being on the street, I lost my camera. Now I feel like I’m not making art anymore, but I still am an artist, just with a different canvas.” The three of us women talked for 10min until it was time to give up our seats for the next hungry person. We grabbed our bags and all pulled the straps tight, grateful to be in physical contact with them again.

Once outside, JoJo, Jess and I found a shady tree near the parking lot. I pulled out a few rocks from my back and let Jess pick one out. She chose a green heart with “Deep Love” written on it. Jess had had an extra hard day. She had been crying for most of the morning, hence the sunglasses to hid her red, puffy eyes. After she shared some of her reasons for the repressed pain, I gave her hug. Jess did not let go and she squeezed me hard. I wanted to give Jess my camera. I wanted to give it to her so that she could have her art back… something to help her cope with her emotions, an outlet to express that which was within. But I hesitated too long, and she walked away. I regret this hesitation.


JoJo and I watched Jess walk away and we stood under the tree in silence for a bit. It was nice to be together, even if were where silent. Sometimes simply sharing time and space with someone is enough to carry the quiet conversation of “I am safe with you.” JoJo was given a rock that said “Grow” and I didn’t elaborate on what it meant to me, for I wanted her to hear what God was whispering to JoJo. “I’m going to carry this rock wherever I go and remember you.” I told her that I wouldn’t forget her either. We talked about God being our Rock… One who is unshakable in this shaky world. I also told JoJo about Christopher, the staff member at the Panama City mission. “I know that you have been hurt by many men, my friend. I have been allowed similar pain. But I hope you can discover that not all men are out to hurt you. There are many, many kind men. Christopher is one of them. On your travels northwest, stop in Panama City. Tell him Daisy gives him the ‘love’ hand gesture.” We talked some more about how our past can either define us or refine us, how it had the potential to create purpose in the pain. JoJo and I parted paths with a long embrace. I wondered when the last time she had received a true hug from someone with no ill-intentions. While walking away, I looked back at JoJo sitting on a bench off to herself. I prayed for God to send more people to befriend the friendless girl, be an ear to listen to the girl who spoke to no one, and hug the girl who wore a pink hat on a hot day because she felt safer with the touch of cotton than a human hand.

My time downtown was not long, though it was long enough. Ann had invited me to spend the night at her and Dan’s house and I truly wanted to take them up on their offer. But this was not God’s plans. Tumbler was headed to their house, but took a southern turn when the road split in two directions. It was my third time leaving Jax, and it was no less hard to move on from this city of which I have grown a strong affinity for. Tumbler turned off the Interstate 95 and settled into an ambling speed on A1A that traversed the ocean through towns I had already left rocks in. Crescent Beach, Palm Coast, Ormond By The Sea, and Daytona Beach. Memories floated to the surface with each place we went through. Tumbler and I landed in Titusville. “God, you have carried me thus far. You are faithful and gracious. Thank you for being so loud at times and at other times, being quiet. Even in your silence… I am safe with You.”


Oh, the overwhelming,
Never-ending,
Reckless
Love of
God.

Unshakable Peace and Purpose
Cling to the Rock

Psalm 18:1-2

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