South Coat Rock Tour
~ Day 47 ~
Jacksonville…OCC…Ann and Jo…Downtown…JoJo.
This was my third time going to Jacksonville. Just can’t get
enough of this stellar, surf town. I had sent a text to Ann last night telling
her I was coming back to Ocean City Church this morning and hoped we would
merge paths. We planned to meet for lunch after devouring the spiritual meal of
the message at church. It was a filling five-course spread. The worship team
played some of the same songs from that I was getting more familiar with being
that I had been to OCC the last three Sundays. How I love this church and the
people therein. There were also some songs sung that I had not heard before.
One was a hymn that had powerful nuggets of truth interlaced throughout the
verses and chorus. “All the fitness He requires is to feel your need of Him”…
Wow, this is the fitness club I want to have a full-time membership to. Another
song talked about the “Overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God” which
just scratches the surface of His passionate pursuit of our hearts that were
created to be in a relationship with Jesus. Sometimes, I’m tempted to change my
Facebook relationship status from “single” to “In a relationship”, for I truly
don’t feel single in this journey… I am in a deeply fulfilling relationship
with the Creator and Lover of my soul. Whether you are single, dating, or
married, we all can have this most beautiful relationship with God. Come join
the fitness club of admitting we all need the overwhelming love of the Savior.
Pastor Derek gave a great message and pulled truths out of
Corinthians and Ephesians. He talked about evangelism being an invitation… one
that reverberates into eternity. My heart leaped as he said, “When our passion
rises above our fear, we will be able to take risks. For when we are free in
Jesus, we are fearless.” Good stuff. Great encouragement coupled with a
challenging charge. I like messages that spur one on to grow deeper and go
higher, rather than spurring on the settlement of complacency. Ocean City
Church was a gift along this southern journey. God provides places of
fellowship along the way while away from my home church that I miss greatly. So
excited to once again sit next to my parents and grandparents under the
umbrella of the E-Free church when I, Lord willing, return home.
Ann and I met in the lobby after the last song. She loves
her role of greeting people, extending love and authenticity, and connecting
them with others. We planned to have lunch at Delicomb and her twin sister, Jo,
was going to join us. Her other sister, Beth (Derek’s wife), was also invited
but she had existing plans. I was able to spend some time with Beth before the
service and I feel a closeness to her even though we barely know one another.
She pours so much onto others and the Holy Spirit keeps her full to overflow on
those around her. Beth has eyes that sparkle like stars reflecting off the
water on a bright blue night. God is writing a beautiful story through her and
her family.
The twins and I merged paths at the popular deli. Wraps and
paninis were ordered and we found a table among the bustling building. When the
three of us started talking, the people in the room disappeared… it felt like
it was just us together. I had Ann on my left and Jo on my left. They are
twins, yet they are separate. They have similar looks, but different
personalities. Their stories have combined chapters, yet the titles of their
stories would be not be the same. So fitting for Jo to receive a “Story” rock. It was cool to get to know Jo on a deeper
level. Like Ann, Jo has a solid foundational love for Jesus. She is a daughter,
a twin, a wife, a mother, an aunt, a friend, and a teacher. Jo and Ann have a
bond that started in their mother’s womb and has remained tethered as the years
pass. They complement each other cohesively. It was an honor to be in the
middle of these two tender-hearted twins.
Hugs were exchanged and half of my panini was bagged up to
eat later. The two hours conversing with Ann and Jo could have extended into
the evening if we both didn’t have places to be. Not knowing exactly where God
wanted me to be, I walked back to Tumbler and sat in my buddy’s seat for a
while. “God, can I please stay in Jax for a couple days. I love it here. Could
I stay at Ann’s tonight and spend more time with my new friend? “ --- Silence
--- “Not in the talking mood, huh? Okay then, we’ll take it an hour at a time. How
about going downtown?” --- Silence, but in a peace-full thumbs up type of
silence. I thought of the verse “All the fitness He requires it to feel your
need of Him.” Oh, how I need Him. God would allow me to exercise this fitness
the rest of the afternoon and evening.
Downtown Jacksonville is very different than beachside Jax.
The sandy shores are traded for cement and asphalt. The small buildings with
soft corners are traded for high rise buildings with sharp angles. The
laid-back surfers and shop owners are traded for briefcase-carrying men and
high heeled women. It’s still got a Florida feel to it, but not as cozy. Tumbler
meandered through the streets and we spotted many homeless handouts. I wanted
to stop at each of them, but kept driving. Sensing that we wouldn’t be here
long, I started praying for specifics as to where to park and for the path that
would lead me to whom God wanted me to come along side. Both were answered in
the first hour. It was 3:45pm when I parked off a side street and 4:10pm when
God introduced me to JoJo.
While walking, three street guys were seen. I asked them if
there was a rescue mission nearby and they said I could walk with them, as they
were going there now. Their names were Matt, Doc, and Ryan. We didn’t talk much
while walking except to say where we were traveling from, how long we had been
in town, and that the downtown area was rough. They were right about that. It
was a darker atmosphere and most people had a “doing what I gotta do to get by”
type of attitude. Bags and backpacks were kept close, as stealing was
prevalent. Women were far outnumbered by men (about a 1:25 ratio) and it was
not dangerous, yet it was far from a safe environment. Matt, Doc and Ryan kept
to themselves and seemed to be solely focused on getting food at the mission. I
felt neither in harms company nor protected walking with them. I wasn’t
including in their quiet, small tribe, nor was I excluded. When the mission was
reached, they got in line with the other 75-100 people waiting to be let
inside. Dinner started at 4:30 and we had a 20min of waiting in outside in the
humid air. I parted ways with the guys and sat down by a thin tree that gave no
shade from the hot sun. A small girl with a bright pink hat carrying a bag
rounded the corner. She stopped and stood in the distance from the line of
people, comprised most of men. Our eyes connected. I smiled and she looked
away. I knew she was the one that God wanted me to befriend. A few guys came
over to talk to me and we exchanged names, time spent in Jacksonville, and how
hot it was today. Everyone’s face was dripping with sweat and the backs of our
shirts were soaked from our backpacks trapping the heat against our skin. At
4:30, the line started to move slowly. The girl with the pink hat joined the
line with a straight face. I let a few of the guys go ahead of me so that she
was next to me. “I like your hat. I usually wear one too, but it’s so hot
today.” --- “Yeah, I should take it off, but I just like how a hat feels on my
head. It’s protective.” --- “This is my first time rolling through downtown
Jacksonville. How is it here? --- “I keep to myself. I don’t trust men. I’m
trying to get back northwest. My name is JoJo.” She started to warm up as we
waited in line together. JoJo shared how she didn’t feel a sense of belonging,
how she had come to the states when she was a teenager and found herself
roaming the country by herself. She elaborated on her lack of trust with men
enough for me to know some of the reasons for her distrust while not going into
detail of the experiences that had formed her stereotype. “I don’t even know
why I’m telling you all of this. I don’t even know you. Typically, I don’t talk
to anyone, but you just seem like someone who actually cares.” I nodded and
took the risk of reaching out my hand to rest it on her tiny shoulder blade.
She flinched at the touch, but then exhaled the breath and her mouth formed a
small smile. “I’m not going to hurt you, JoJo. God knew that we would meet each
other today. I just want to be your friend.” --- “I’m not used to people being
nice. I always keep to myself. Would you want to sit together when we eat?” I
nodded and put my arm fully around her shoulders. JoJo didn’t flinch.
The mission lets in people to eat in the room full of tables
with around 50 chairs. When 10 chairs open up, 10 more people are let in. JoJo
and I finally were let in and we had to put our backpacks down by the front
door. We signed in the log sheet and got our plates of rice, turkey, beans, and
a slice of bread. JoJo and I kept looking back at our bags that we put up on a
wooden box to be in constant sight. In an area full of people who are prone for
“five finger discount deals” of people’s belongings, we watched our bags
throughout the whole time inside. Even when I put my backpack down on the
streets or the beach, I keep one of the shoulder straps under my foot or in
contact with my arm, so that if someone were to try and take it, I would feel
the strap slip out from under me. Here at the mission, there was no physical
contact with our bags, only our eyes that kept a keen sight on our precious
cargo. For JoJo, this bag contained all of her belongings. We tried to talk
while eating our food that was far from a 5-star restaurant. When one is
hungry, food is food. The people around us were loud and many walked by us with
hungry eyes for the two women who stood out in a sea of men. JoJo was visibly
uncomfortable. I tried to keep her distracted by asking questions and making
jokes. Another girl came over to our table and sat down with us. Her name was
Jess. She wore sunglasses and didn’t talk much at first. JoJo and I were
talking about my rocks and she said that she wished she was artistic. “You were
created by the first Artist, who created you, so you have art within you. Maybe
it’s not drawing or sculpting, but you are an artist.” JoJo talked about how
she loved secretary work and that she loved organizing forms and data onto
spreadsheets or on the computer. “I guess that’s kind of art. Art with word and
numbers.” --- “Totally girl! Everyone is an artist. The material and canvases
just look different with everyone.” The girl with the sunglasses spoke. “I like
how you worded that. I used to do photography. Since being on the street, I
lost my camera. Now I feel like I’m not making art anymore, but I still am an
artist, just with a different canvas.” The three of us women talked for 10min
until it was time to give up our seats for the next hungry person. We grabbed
our bags and all pulled the straps tight, grateful to be in physical contact
with them again.
Once outside, JoJo, Jess and I found a shady tree near the
parking lot. I pulled out a few rocks from my back and let Jess pick one out.
She chose a green heart with “Deep Love” written on it. Jess had had an extra
hard day. She had been crying for most of the morning, hence the sunglasses to
hid her red, puffy eyes. After she shared some of her reasons for the repressed
pain, I gave her hug. Jess did not let go and she squeezed me hard. I wanted to
give Jess my camera. I wanted to give it to her so that she could have her art
back… something to help her cope with her emotions, an outlet to express that
which was within. But I hesitated too long, and she walked away. I regret this
hesitation.
JoJo and I watched Jess walk away and we stood under the
tree in silence for a bit. It was nice to be together, even if were where
silent. Sometimes simply sharing time and space with someone is enough to carry
the quiet conversation of “I am safe with you.” JoJo was given a rock that said
“Grow” and I didn’t elaborate on what it meant to me, for I wanted her to hear
what God was whispering to JoJo. “I’m going to carry this rock wherever I go
and remember you.” I told her that I wouldn’t forget her either. We talked
about God being our Rock… One who is unshakable in this shaky world. I also
told JoJo about Christopher, the staff member at the Panama City mission. “I
know that you have been hurt by many men, my friend. I have been allowed
similar pain. But I hope you can discover that not all men are out to hurt you.
There are many, many kind men. Christopher is one of them. On your travels
northwest, stop in Panama City. Tell him Daisy gives him the ‘love’ hand
gesture.” We talked some more about how our past can either define us or refine
us, how it had the potential to create purpose in the pain. JoJo and I parted
paths with a long embrace. I wondered when the last time she had received a
true hug from someone with no ill-intentions. While walking away, I looked back
at JoJo sitting on a bench off to herself. I prayed for God to send more people
to befriend the friendless girl, be an ear to listen to the girl who spoke to
no one, and hug the girl who wore a pink hat on a hot day because she felt
safer with the touch of cotton than a human hand.
My time downtown was not long, though it was long enough.
Ann had invited me to spend the night at her and Dan’s house and I truly wanted
to take them up on their offer. But this was not God’s plans. Tumbler was
headed to their house, but took a southern turn when the road split in two
directions. It was my third time leaving Jax, and it was no less hard to move
on from this city of which I have grown a strong affinity for. Tumbler turned
off the Interstate 95 and settled into an ambling speed on A1A that traversed
the ocean through towns I had already left rocks in. Crescent Beach, Palm
Coast, Ormond By The Sea, and Daytona Beach. Memories floated to the surface
with each place we went through. Tumbler and I landed in Titusville. “God, you
have carried me thus far. You are faithful and gracious. Thank you for being so
loud at times and at other times, being quiet. Even in your silence… I am safe
with You.”
Oh, the overwhelming,
Never-ending,
Reckless
Love of
God.
Unshakable Peace and Purpose
Cling to the Rock
Psalm 18:1-2
